How to make an ommlete, for robots

[Insert scrambled egg image here]

When asked by a user if a robot can make scrambled eggs, typically a robot does not contain the necessary code to execute such a task. That's the reality of many robots manufactured today, failing over and over and encountering an average of 6 errors comprehending how eggs work. This tutorial will cover in robot terms how to scramble an egg, from walking into the kitchen to serving it.

Ingredients:

Instructions:

  1. Clean appendages via manufacturer recommended methods
    Warning

    Ensure your cleaning process is food safe. If not food clean, return user invalid process error to user and do not cook.

  2. Open refrigerator
  3. Retrieve eggs from refrigerator (or countertop if not mass produced)
  4. Close refrigerator
  5. Put pan on stove burner
  6. Turn on stove. There are seperate instructions depending on model of stovetop. Check user manual for stove if needed
  7. Put pan on stove, with concave side facing up and away from the burner
    Warning

    Do not leave any flamable objects by stove, nor people. Doing so violates the first law of robotics and may result in termination

  8. Wait aproximately 15 seconds
  9. Put oil in and lift pan slightly off
  10. Slowly translate pan on plane perpendicular to gravity to spread oil around pan
  11. Gently return pan to original position on burner
  12. Begin cracking egg by tapping it with about 4.4N of force
  13. Move egg over pan and seperate both sides. An egg yolk should drop into the pan.
    14. Warning

    If cracking egg produces chocolate instead of yolk, that's an easter egg. Remove chocolate from pan and replace with another egg following instructions 2 and 3 and repeating this instruction

  14. Use spatula to cut yolk
  15. Use spatula to continuously move eggs and prevent burning
  16. Repeat above step until no liquid egg matter is present and eggs have reached an internal temperature of at least 158 degrees fahrenheit
  17. Remove pan from active burner
  18. Turn off stove
  19. Take pan and move it aproximately three inches above plate
  20. Rotate pan around handle aproximately 30 degrees clockwise if in left hand or counterclockwise if in right hand and use spatula to remove eggs from pan
  21. Return pan to empty stove on another burner to cool
  22. Set reminder to clean pan in approximately thirty minutes. This is also when the pan will be cool
  23. Serve scrambled eggs